First I will suggest that you get things communicating with wires first, then an R/C module will almost be a drop in. ( sounds like you have done so, just a disclaimer)

The parts I like are found here
http://www.rentron.com/remote_control/TXLC-XXX-LR.htm
Code examples can be found here too.

Basically all you do is send the command with one of the serial protocols. A little signal conditioning and your good to go.

dhouston has good info on his site.
http://www.davehouston.net/

I will not recomend any books, just a waste of time the most of them.
Read the above two sites and this forum and that is all you will need.