Which chip do i use?

[mister_e]

MAX232 is what you need, you could still use a simple transistor/mosfet as inverter. for short distance that's good enough. Here's one of the various transistor solution available over the net
http://www.piclist.com/techref/io/serial/ttl2rs232.htm

The ICSP diagram might work or not depending of your programmer, Microchip have an ICSP guide
http://ww1.microchip.com/downloads/e...Doc/30277d.pdf

there's also the usual Melabs schematic bellow:

http://www.melabs.com/support/icsp.htm