Also without a data sheet you're making life hard for yourself as you are assuming that they follow the Hitachi 44780 standard, and trust me there are some variations on that standard. I had some LCD's that required a dual rail supply for the contrast. I didn't get anything showing until I had -5v on the contrast pin !
The only way you are going to work out what is casuing the PIC to heat up is to pull everything off the breadboard and start again, and test at various stages, like connect up just the supply to the PIC and see if it heats up.. if it does then you need to check the supply to the PIC. I can't follow your threads above, but it seems like your using the PSU that powers the programmer - if so don't and try a seperate regulated 5v supply to the breadboard. The use of a 1amp 7805 regulator and a couple of 100uF capacitors will make a suitable supply for the test bed.
From experience I also find that strange things can happen if you use ICSP and leave it connected to the programmer after loading the HEX. You may even find that this is the cause, and would suggest you make up a simple header from 0.1" pitch header pins so that after programing the header can be removed. This way you can test the circuit correctly, and eliminate any possible causes.
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