I've read already posted threads about this IC but they don't help ..
probably not a good idea to keep starting new threads then . whats the history ? what has been tried and failed ?

so we start again at the beginning

what is the actual problem ?
do you have a accurate schematic of your setup ?
do you have suitable pullup resistors ?
can you flash a led with your pic ? do the scl,sda pins do anything ?
do you have a oscilloscope or a logic analyser to check output ?
have you tried to read the command and status regs of the ds3231 (0x0e,0x0f) ? if so what do you get ?
is the ds3231 osc running ?