i was resolved it before by using mixing the triac and relay Paralleled. the triac contacting faster than relay.. so the triac come at the first facing the inductive load .after that the relay come to keep at the current connecting... without burning the small relay ..and without heating the triac..and you must turn off the relay at the first to avoid inductive load .. after that turn off the triac .Interval could be ms ... so you can use bta41 or higher driven by moc3042 or moc3082 and relay 5a ..... you can try..