Code:
DEFINE HSER_RCSTA 90h ' Enable serial port & continuous receive
DEFINE HSER_TXSTA 24h ' Enable transmit, BRGH = 1
DEFINE HSER_CLROERR 1 ' Clear overflow automatically
DEFINE HSER_SPBRG 225 ' 9600 Baud @ 48MHz, 0,0%
SPBRGH = 4
BAUDCON.3 = 1 ' Enable 16 bit baudrate generator

the above lines cured all my serial in problems.

I think the last 3 were the important bits, but now when the buffer fills it just ignores extra chars etc, no more ''going deaf''

using them with

Code:
        __CONFIG    _CONFIG1L, _PLLDIV_5_1L & _CPUDIV_OSC1_PLL2_1L & _USBDIV_2_1L
        __CONFIG    _CONFIG1H, _FOSC_HSPLL_HS_1H
        __CONFIG    _CONFIG2H, _WDT_OFF_2H & _WDTPS_512_2H
        __CONFIG    _CONFIG3H, _PBADEN_OFF_3H & _MCLRE_ON_3H
        __CONFIG    _CONFIG4L, _LVP_OFF_4L & _XINST_OFF_4L
And a 20mhz crystal gives trouble free operation to the phone/module, and no issue with the 3v signals.

I had to remove the resistor/led combination from the rx pin, it was loading the module a little and dropping its voltage down too low to be seen by the pic, but with a direct connection transfers have been error free. (measured on voltmeter as 2.8v, 2.75 and bits go missing...)


Thanks to everyone for there input and ideas, I dont know where I would have been without you all this last few weeks!