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Oh, so your problem is with MPLABX. Welcome to the club.

It's not the ICD3 that's crap, it's MPLABX. I've had problems with all the tools in every version of MPLABX.
Some versions are better...

IMHO the ICD3 is the best one I've used. Far better than the pickit3, and I prefer it even to the RealICE.
Mine supplies well over 150mA to the target... way more than the pickit2 or 3.

There...

In case there's any confusion, the mplabx ipecmd.exe is the generic command-line driver that can handle any of the programmers.

The '–TP' option lets you select which tool:
–TPPK3 PICkit3...

You should be able to. It's similar to adding the Pickit3, but instead of using PK3CMD.EXE you'll need to use the file from the MPLABX folder mplab_ipe\icd3cmd.exe

See this thread for adding a...